I love you…..I love to love you! Yes, that used to be one of our favorite code games. You would start saying I hate…. and wait for my shocking/sad expression and then finish the sentence….. Ma, I hate to hate you! And you would go a step further and say ‘Ma, I love to hate to hate you’. We shared a very special bond… we still do. When you started talking with single words you would say Appa, Thatha, Akka but it took a long time for you to say Amma. It was a special moment in my life when you first called me Amma. That was when I was in the shower and I came out half bathed, yet fully dressed, only to come out to hear you saying appa, thatha, akka again. You took pleasure in seeing my sad expression when you would call me Cheema instead of amma! Those cute flapping of hands like a penguin along with panting like a dog when you were excited can never be forgotten! For years, people used to think you were a girl because of your beautiful eyes and rosy lips. Your playschool teacher dressed you up like a girl because she didn’t have enough girls in her class and you stood there on the stage as shy!
You were a star in all the places you went to. I was popularly known as Adhi’s mom and whenever some parent meets me for the first time they would say, ‘Ok, so you are Adhi’s mom. He is such a nice, well-behaved and never naughty boy!’. I remember how we would come home and laugh at that comment because only we knew how naughty you were!
You taught me how to love especially how to love unconditionally. You taught me patience and tolerance. There was this day when you threw tantrums and rolled over the floor crying, ‘I want the electricity to be on… RIGHT NOW, when there was a scheduled power cut in Trichy!’. I couldn’t help but just laugh at your cuteness and innocence.
You were your teachers’ pet. Parents-teachers’ meetings were always those that I used to look forward to. Every teacher would only shower praises about you and how good you were except once during your 1st grade you broke the tube light in your classroom! I could only laugh at your naughtiness but had to keep a serious face in front of your class teacher. Once you fell from stairs and had a cut on your chin which had to be sutured. After 4 years, you had a slip of your tongue and blurted that you had indeed jumped from the top of a cupboard and that’s how you hurt your chin. You only made me wonder how you climbed on top of the cupboard in the first place and that too as a 1st grader! You also mentioned that no one other than one of your friends knew this!
I enjoyed the way you used to call me ‘gundu thakali and panju methai’ although I knew you were teasing me. From 2011 you got a new accomplice to tease me. Yes, you and Sheker loved to pull my leg for my slow speed of functioning. You were such a sport too when we used to often pull your leg by mentioning your childhood crush from Chennai.
I loved the way you used to press and massage my legs soon after I came home. You never failed to care. You knew it when I was tired and would always help me prepare meals. You were such a great helper. Your dodamma was amazed to see the way I was taking help from you for everything right from turning off a light switch and in turn becoming lazier!
You grew up as a handsome young man and wanted to become an actor. You were already a great actor and the plays in which you acted were awesome and hilarious! You would have been 17 today but always a 9th grader and 14 for all of us!
There are many times I wish you were here with me in this world, but my heart knows you are in a much better and happier place now, quietly watching me. Thank you for leaving behind 15 years of endless memories for me to cherish my entire lifetime. I know you are here with me now and listening to the messages from those who love you. I know you will always be with me as a guiding star in my heart as you have always been.
Love
I wish I could hug you….
Amma
